NORTHFIELD, MN — “Show ’em who’s boss” seems to be precisely the type of phrase people would occasionally utter to one another in a capitalist, patriarchal society.
NORTHFIELD, MINNESOTA – Without hyperbole, life would be entirely devoid of meaning.
GOTHENBURG, SWEDEN — I propose that, as a humble gesture to promote racial healing, we count white votes as 3/5 of a vote in the 2020 presidential election.
GOTHENBURG, SWEDEN — I would like to see a longitudinal study that investigates whether individuals conceived via exciting, “steamy” sex have better life outcomes than individuals conceived via bland, “vanilla” sex. My prediction is yes.
GOTHENBURG, SWEDEN — Just as the nation must conquer it’s evil Trump monster, so too, must we all conquer our inner Trump monsters! Trump monsters of avarice and pettiness! Of hubris and brutish scorn! We banish thee, O’ curséd Trump monsters, from the oval office of our nation, and too, from the oval offices of our hearts! #DefeatTrumps
MUNICH, GERMANY — Europe is full of countries that provide free health care & college education yet charge for tap water & public restrooms. I can’t figure out these greedy, egalitarian, neoliberal, socialist bastards!!
NORWICH, UK — I believe it was Àlacarte that once reasoned: “I eat, therefore I am”
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN — Spotted in Stockholm: a large, mixed-gender public restroom. Because pissing is pissing– it isn’t sexual or scandalous– and there is no harm in pooping near people with junk that differs from your own. But liberation from antiquated sex-segregating social norms evidently comes at a cost. Specifically, a 10 kronor ($1.50) entrance fee.
UPPSALA, SWEDEN – “Free market” means freedom to exploit land & labor; freedom to pollute air, water, and soil; freedom for multinationals to go anywhere and do anything they want, ferociously suing governments audacious enough to encourage practices like recycling, not smoking, or buying local, until all such “anti-competitive” policies are obliterated.
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK — It seems to me that the BlackLivesMatter movement is anti-cop in the same way a “clean the river” campaign is anti-river. The activists behind a “clean the river” campaign don’t hate rivers, or think rivers are evil. Rather, they want to remove the toxins and wastes within the river that pose a threat to their community. They want to see the river transformed into a source of comfort and serenity, instead of something to fear and avoid. If a maniac with a bulldozer began dumping sand in the river, yelling “I hate rivers! Destroy all rivers!” we could not reasonably consider him an ally or disciple of the “clean the river” campaign.