[Original Song] Ode to HD 40307g

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While doing some research for a blog post that I will probably never publish, (a fate that befalls most of the blogs I start to write,) I learned that scientists have recently discovered a planet that could be habitable by humans. My initial reaction, sadly enough, was something along the lines of “hey, that’s great, because when we trash this one, we’ll have another in store.”

I felt that concept could make for an interesting song, and when I realized the “D” and the “g” in the planet’s name basically rhyme, making the name sing-able, I decided it had to be done.

This is my ode to the poetically named and utterly ineffable HD 40307g.

(Note: The video at the start is from “slatester,” the Slate News Chanel.)

Lyrics:

Intro:

It’s the year 2073
And the world’s no longer habitable by you or by me me
So it’s pretty clear we’ll simply have to leave
We’re headed for HD 40307g

Continue reading “[Original Song] Ode to HD 40307g” →

The Problem with Bowling

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I wish to speak to you briefly on the subject of bowling, for, by means of my casual pondering, it has come to my attention that this activity is inherently flawed. Perhaps irredeemably so. Perhaps, to the point where we will have no choice but to eradicate it from our society.

Whether you practice the activity casually or, more problematically, professionally, here is the intrinsic problem with bowling: There are no variables. There are no variables! If conditions are always exactly the same, where’s the skill?

Old Bowling LaneThis was not always the case. There once was a time where we could not produce perfectly level floors, or perfectly rounded bowling balls, and where there did not exist such universal standards for the length and width of a bowling lane, or arrangement of the pins. Back then, each time you bowled things would be different, thereby revealing the skill of the bowler, in their ability to adapt.

But those days are gone. We have perfected and conformed the sport of bowling to the point where there are no variables, and thereby, skill is determined predominantly by repetition. There is no opponent, and no variation in conditions, so someone who practices enough times should be able to get a strike every single time. And indeed, this has become fairly common. So the game is beat, done, antiquated, pointless, over.

Don’t get me wrong, I cannot bowl a strike every time. Most people can’t. So I suppose to the repetition-arily deficient, this activity continues to pose enough of a challenge to be enjoyable, and therefore should be retained. But still, I cannot escape an underlying sense of anxiety, a feeling of hamster-wheel-esk frivolity, at the notion of partaking in such a defeatedly perfected sport. Sure, to the casual bowler, the activity may still be challenging and fun. But troubled as I am by the fundamental paradoxicality of a sport, which we, as a society have clearly outgrown, it is my opinion that bowling should simply be eradicated.

Alternatively, the game could be updated. Rather than get rid of it completely, we could simply reintroduce variables. Perhaps we could add small mounds to bowling lane, or arrange the pins more sporadically. Perhaps we could move the activity outside, introducing weather variation. Surely, something must be done to differentiate one game from the next, reintroducing skill and variance to the saturated sport. Otherwise, bowling can be no more. For as Darwin’s theory of natural selection clearly illustrates, that which can not evolve, must perish.

[Original Song] Inside Out

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This is a song I wrote a couple months ago, which was the winner of a songwriting competition my high school put on. I sing and play all instruments in the song except for some of the percussion tracks, which are prerecorded Garageband loops.

The song is about how finding myself in uncomfortable, difficult, or foreign situations, I have noticed the tendency to turn to those around me and constantly ask questions along the lines of “Is this right? Should I do this now? What would you do?” Wanting to be normal, it is easy to slip into this self-conscious, overly-reliant state, and simply mimic those around us, rather than attempt to act with genuine individuality.

This song is about the realization that it is a futile exercise, because the “normal” environment we seek is constantly changing, and following someone else entails that they will remain ahead, discovering and achieving things, while you lag behind. Normal is exhausting and dull. The song is meant to be invigorating, instilling a message that it is better to act in a way that’s free, genuine, and entirely your own. Take nothing for granted and hold nothing back.

(Note: Song sounds best with headphones or other stereo, not mono speakers.)

Lyrics:

Verse 1:
Seek approval of normality
Individuality, can wait its turn
Not easy to be alone, you see
Deciding everything, out in the unknown

Finding now that in reality
This impersonality, will just leave you cold
I find myself surpassed, you see
By the one’s who dared to act all on their own

Verse 2:
Some inflated fear of failure, some fear of sticking out
Don’t you talk to loud, here let me show you how
No, no, you gotta kick the structures down
You gotta stand up tall and proud, dig up what’s buried in the ground

You gotta ask a lot of questions, argue all you can
Kick up some commotion, and stick it to da’ man!
Be intellectual and optimistic, search for underlying truth and meaning
Normality’s worth nothing in the end

Carnival-Style Urination Games: What America Needs to Get Back on Track

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Among the most pressing issues facing America today is our tremendous debt, currently looming around $14 trillion. Another issue? America seems to be quite depressed. A new study, sponsored by the World Health Organization interviewed nearly 90,000 people in 18 countries, and concluded that the US and France are the worlds most depressed nations.

So, we are deep in debt and thoroughly depressed… What can be done to address these issues? I think I may have a solution: Carnival-style urination games, (CSUG’s.) It is a bold and innovative idea, if I may say so myself, and it may be exactly what our nation needs to get back on track.

You know that carnival game you might find at an amusement park, the one where you race horses or cars by shooting water guns at a target? The more precisely you fire, the faster your racer moves…

pistol_game Continue reading “Carnival-Style Urination Games: What America Needs to Get Back on Track” →

The Importance of Travel

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I am currently residing in what may or may not be a distant and foreign land, (depending on the location of the reader.) The territory in question is named Gotland, and it is the largest island in Sweden. This place is not new to me; I’ve traveled here many times before.

My mother is from Sweden, and from this fact you might correctly infer that I have many relatives here. It has become customary for my family and my Aunt’s family to gather here on Gotland, at my Grandparents’ charming abode. This has occurred nearly every summer of my lifetime, but what separates this summer from the rest is my outlook on the expedition.

Previously, this has merely been a time to see the family, hang out, and play. This year, I’ve been trying to also utilize the opportunity to really learn about Swedish culture. You see, my game plan for life consists primarily of three things:

  • To understand as much as I can about what already exists
  • Apply that knowledge to somehow contributing to humanity
  • Have fun doing it

In the quest of understanding, a broad perspective is essential. And among the greatest ways to gain that perspective is through travel. I don’t mean traveling simply as a tourist set on sightseeing, but rather to immerse yourself in a foreign culture, and try to deeply understand the lifestyle of the people.

My cousin Corinna is excellent at this. She has spent the past year with her boyfriend Cameron traveling all across South America. Check out her blog, Ruta Surreal. I got to meet up with her for a couple weeks in Peru, and it was a fantastic experience. It’s fascinating, exciting, and important to see the way other people live, and in the past I’ve hardly paid any attention to all the cultural differences here in Sweden.

But this year, I’ve been trying much harder to do so, as I have found a new appreciation for the importance of travel. There are so many different people on this world, living so many different ways. The more we understand one another, the more capable we become of peace and of progress. It is surely human nature to fear the unknown, and common for violence to be driven by fear. And as each culture possesses their unique set of strengths and flaws, much can be gained by understanding others.

Only through the collaboration of different cultures can we create peace, end hunger, and finally conquer that pesky challenge of intergalactic travel. (Of course, at that point we’ll have to start the process all over again…) The greatest achievements of mankind will come with breaking down borders. We can start by at least traveling across them.

My new, old guitar

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Just recently I purchased a new guitar off of Craigslist. I call it my new, old guitar because while it’s new to me, the guitar is actually about 35 years old. It’s a Yamaha g245 classical guitar, and it’s way cool. I love it already. My guitar teacher is a big advocate of classical guitars, even if you don’t play classical music. You can get a very decent classical guitar for super cheap if you buy it used, so I thought I’d give it a try.

Here’s a quick jam I recorded.

The cool thing about classical guitars is they’re comparatively small and really easy to play. They are equipped with nylon strings, rather than steel, making them easier on the fingers. I really like the tone of nylon strings as well. They don’t make as big of a sound as steel, (they’re not so great for shimmering open chords). But they do great with picking patterns, (which is a major purpose of classical guitars,) and I think you can get awesome sounds strumming or playing licks too, you just have to treat the guitar a little differently. Play a little softer.

The size of a classical guitar is really nice as well. It makes it easy to curl up on the couch or lay down in bed and strum on your guitar, which is something I was missing on my other acoustic. Also, the size makes it a little easier to travel with, which is one of the main reasons I got this guitar: to bring with me on my travels this summer.

One more thing I really love about this guitar is the wood. Guitars are apparently like cigars or wine in that they get better with time. When you get a new acoustic guitar you are required to humidify it to ensure the wood doesn’t crack. Over time, the wood settles into a cured state, and you don’t have to do this anymore. Also, older guitars are often made from better wood. There’s wood that isn’t available anymore, or only available in super expensive, high-end guitars, that is totally common in guitars from 30, 40 years ago. You can really tell the difference between quality, aged wood and brand new cheaper wood.

Buying used guitars is awesome as they’re usually way cheaper, have better wood, and have had time for the wood to settle. And in the world of acoustic guitars, I think there’s a lot to be said for a classical instrument.

Words to Live By #1

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This post is the first in what I hope to be an enduring and insightful series: “Words to Live by.” Loose thoughts are constantly flowing through a person’s mind. The beauty and the importance of writing is that it forces someone to focus, and really determine what it is they want to say. Occasionally I have a thought which I’m able to craft into something a little more concise and catchy than the usual flow of scattered ideas. These thoughts stick with me, and become recurring themes in my life. I thought I’d start to share some of these ‘words to live by’ which have become important motto’s to me. This is the first:

I have no regrets, only valuable, new experiences.

To explain this idea, I want to talk briefly about lucid dreaming. Dreaming fascinates me, especially lucid dreaming, which is the act of becoming conscious during your dreams. I’ve been reading through a very interesting book, Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming, which has a chapter about “the building of dreams.” The book describes two different scenarios for a hypothetical dream. They both place you in a dimly lit city street, where you see a nearby figure, but you can’t make out who it is.

In the first scenario, you think to yourself maybe it’s a criminal who wants to mug me. And sure enough, it is a criminal who wants to mug you!! You run screaming, it is very scary, and you wake up in a sweat. In the second scenario you think Maybe it’s my friend, who was going to meet me to watch a movie. And believe it or not, it is your friend! You have a great time at the movies.

The book explains that in your dreams, your thoughts become the reality. This made me think that it is beneficial to have a totally positive outlook on life, for at the very least, this will ensure you will have good dreams. If you make it your habit to always see the best in every situation, then if nothing else, at least your dreams will be enjoyable. And I’m fairly confident your life will be too.

So in the pursuit of a positive outlook I devised this motto: I have no regrets, only valuable, new experiences. Challenge yourself to apply it. Try to think of nothing as a waste of time, or a failed endeavor. We are constantly learning from everything we do, and there is something of value in every moment we live.

A Drink for the Manly (not the Mathly)

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Have you heard of Dr. Pepper 10? It’s a new soft drink hitting test markets across the US, whose claim to fame is that it has only 10 calories. Therefore, it is “manly,” and “not for women….”

Here’s one of the commercials, which positions the product for action-loving, monster-killing tough guys by saying, “Hey ladies, enjoying the film? Of course not! ‘Cause this is our movie, and this is our drink! It’s only 10 manly calories…”

I don’t get it. I don’t get how kind of dieting but not quite is manly. Why can’t these manly men drink a normal soda and then burn off the calories playing football and slaying dinosaurs? I don’t get why Dr. Pepper would initiate this ad campaign, which makes their drink unappealing to all women, and not-so-manly men. But most of all, I don’t get the math!

The bottle I picked up clearly displays four numbers, which just don’t add up.

  1. Front and center the bottle cheers “10 Bold Tasting Calories.”
  2. Underneath it says “Per 8 Fluid Ounces.”
  3. Off to the side the label states there are “20 Calories per Bottle.”
  4. It is also printed that there are 20 fluid ounces per bottle

image_drpepperten5

Let’s do some manly math.

  • 10 Calories ÷ 8 Fluid Ounces puts 1.25 calories in one fluid ounce.
  • 1.25 calories x 20 Fluid Ounces per bottle = 25 calories in a bottle

I’m not sure which part is wrong, but all the parts definitely aren’t right. There aren’t 10 calories in this drink, or even 20, but, it appears to be, 25. It’s strange to me that they would put so much emphasis on the 10 calorie thing, which clearly doesn’t apply to this bottle, or to any bottle! There’s 10 calories per 8 fluid ounces, and Dr. Pepper is never sold in 8 ounce containers. Cans are 12, bottles are 12 or 20, soda fountains usually don’t have 8 ounce cups either. You cannot buy a Dr. Pepper 10 and drink only 10 calories, (unless you carefully split it with your he-man buddy).

There is one more interesting surprise that comes with Dr. Pepper 25. Maybe because the label is occupied with calorie contradictions, it fails to include any obvious mention of the caffeine boost. There’s a ton of caffeine in here! 4.2 mg per ounce. That means 84 mg in the bottle, where a normal Dr. Pepper would have only 68. That’s a sly 24% increase, unbeknownst to the common consumer. I guess manly men are doped up on caffeine. Just not to their knowledge…

The one thing I know for certain about this drink, is it is NOT for woman. Maybe because women can count, and don’t get as easily distracted by challenges to their manliness. Girls, don’t be offended at what may feel like a sexist ad campaign. Be honored that you weren’t dragged into this nonsense. Manly men, enjoy your new soda! Just don’t think about it too hard, it’ll make your head hurt.

UPDATE: It appears the folks at Dr. Pepper read my blog. The math now seems to add up.

The Joy of Insignifigance

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I am a strong believer in the chill pill. The philosophy “you can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf” has influenced me from a very young age, as well as the mantra “everything in moderation.” I find total conviction in any one belief, to be unnerving and dangerous. All the hatred and violence in this world arises from people being too sure that their idea is right and everyone else is wrong. This kind of extremism not only promotes hatred, but stunts the progress of mankind. If the church were less absolute in its belief in the bible, for example, Galileo’s legitimate observation that the earth moves around the sun could have been celebrated and applied rather than landing him under house arrest for the remainder of his life.

Throughout history, communities have come to believe in fallacies with unwavering certainty. As a result, good people have died and truth has been restrained. Perhaps it would be beneficial to drill into every human being a sense of insignificance- to teach them that the universe is big and they are small, and their knowledge is limited.

In relation to the size of the universe, and the time over which it has existed, all of humanity becomes immeasurably small. In the never ending expanse of the space-time continuum, your own lifespan is scarcely detectable. I think extremism is dangerous, and it comes from feelings of self-importance. The fact that we’re not so big and powerful, and that we can’t possibly know everything is humbling. To be humble is to be moderate, and to be moderate is to be peaceful and open to rational discussion.